31/8/10
30/8/10
como si no fuera un rayo que te parte los huesos y te deja estaqueado en la mitad del patio. Vos dirás que la eligen porque-la-aman, yo creo que es al revés.
A Beatriz no se la elige, a Julieta no se la elige.
Vos no elegís la lluvia que te va a calar hasta los huesos cuando salís de un concierto.
A heavy pressure on my chest
It rarely leaves
My day becomes a quest
To try not to think about her
And all that she brings
Forget about her magic
All the beautiful things
Surely there are other
Things to life
But I can't think of
One single thing
That matters more
Than just to see her
Just to see her
Her smile, her touch
Her smell
Her laugh
The longing is a friend
A way to stay close
And feel like she's here
And feel like she knows
That when I say I would die for her
It's not just words; I really would
And to make the world a safer place for her
Well, I believe I really could
Surely there are other
Things to life
But I can't think of
One single thing
That matters more
Than just to see her
To see her
Her tears, her sorrow
Her faults
Her doubts
I love them all
28/8/10
She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.
27/8/10
en esta noche en este mundo
las palabras del sueño de la infancia de la muerte
nunca es eso lo que uno quiere decir
la lengua natal castra
la lengua es un órgano de conocimiento
del fracaso de todo poema
castrado por su propia lengua
que es el órgano de la re-creación
del re-conocimiento
pero no el de la resurrección
de algo a modo de negación
de mi horizonte de maldoror con su perro
y nada es promesa
entre lo decible
que equivale a mentir
(todo lo que se puede decir es mentira)
el resto es silencio
sólo que el silencio no existe
no
las palabras
no hacen el amor
hacen la ausencia
si digo agua ¿beberé?
si digo pan ¿comeré?
en esta noche en este mundo
extraordinario silencio el de esta noche
lo que pasa con el alma es que no se ve
lo que pasa con la mente es que no se ve
lo que pasa con el espíritu es que no se ve
¿de dónde viene esta conspiración de invisibilidades?
ninguna palabra es visible
26/8/10
23/8/10
Fear of falling asleep at night.
Fear of not falling asleep.
Fear of the past rising up.
Fear of the present taking flight.
Fear of the telephone that rings in the dead of night.
Fear of electrical storms.
Fear of the cleaning woman who has a spot on her cheek!
Fear of dogs I've been told won't bite.
Fear of anxiety!
Fear of having to identify the body of a dead friend.
Fear of running out of money.
Fear of having too much, though people will not believe this.
Fear of psychological profiles.
Fear of being late and fear of arriving before anyone else.
Fear of my children's handwriting on envelopes.
Fear they'll die before I do, and I'll feel guilty.
Fear of having to live with my mother in her old age, and mine.
Fear of confusion.
Fear this day will end on an unhappy note.
Fear of waking up to find you gone.
Fear of not loving and fear of not loving enough.
Fear that what I love will prove lethal to those I love.
Fear of death.
Fear of living too long.
Fear of death.
I've said that.
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.
Though mild clear weather
Smile again on the shire of your esteem
And its colors come back, the storm has changed you:
You will not forget, ever,
The darkness blotting out hope, the gale
Prophesying your downfall.
You must live with your knowledge.
Way back, beyond, outside of you are others,
In moonless absences you never heard of,
Who have certainly heard of you,
Beings of unknown number and gender:
And they do not like you.
What have you done to them?
Nothing? Nothing is not an answer:
You will come to believe--how can you help it?--
That you did, you did do something;
You will find yourself wishing you could make them laugh,
You will long for their friendship.
There will be no peace.
Fight back, then, with such courage as you have
And every unchivalrous dodge you know of,
Clear in your conscience on this:
Their cause, if they had one, is nothing to them now;
They hate for hate's sake.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
and you believe you are living.
Then you read a book… or you take a trip…
and you discover that you are not living,
that you are hibernating.
The symptoms of hibernating are easily
detectable: first, restlessness.
The second symptom (when hibernating
becomes dangerous and might degenerate
into death): absence of pleasure.
That is all.
It appears like an innocuous illness.
Monotony, boredom, death.
Millions live like this (or die like this)
without knowing it.
They work in offices.
They drive a car.
They picnic with their families.
They raise children.
And then some shock treatment takes place,
a person, a book, a song, and it awakens
them and saves them from death.
Some never awaken.
22/8/10
19/8/10
18/8/10
17/8/10
15/8/10
6/8/10
5/8/10
4/8/10
I'm not gonna tear it apart.
I'm gonna keep you weak in the knees.
Try to unlock your heart.
You're gonna turn me animal.
You're gonna turn me dumb.
Your kiss in the night.
Bringing the light.
You're like the rising sun.
I hunger for you like a cannibal.
Not gonna let you run.
I'm gonna take you.
I'm gonna shake you.
I'm gonna make you cum.
1/8/10
para aceptar el mundo como si no fuese
solamente lo único que conservo de ti,
tendría que olvidarme
como se olvida lo más negro de un sueño,
soplar en mi conciencia hasta apagar mi imagen,
cerrar los ojos frente a los espejos,
deshacerme y hacerme, soñar siempre con otro,
morirme de mí mismo
para no recordarte a cada instante
como el ciego recuerda la luz y el condenado a muerte
la vida, toda ella, en un abrir y cerrar de ojos,
porque estás más adentro de mí que yo mismo
o existo porque existes
o yo no sé quién soy desde que sé quien eres.
No es lo mismo estar solo que estar sin ti, conmigo
con lo que permanece de mí si tú me dejas:
alguien, no, quizás algo: el aspecto de un hombre, su retrato
que el viento de otro mundo dispersa en el espacio
lleno de tu fantasma desgarrador y dulce.
Monstruo mío, amor mío,
dondequiera que estés, con quienquiera que yazgas
abre por un instante los ojos en mi nombre
e, iluminada por tu despertar,
dime, como si yo fuese la noche,
qué debo hacer para volver a odiarte,
para no amar el odio que te tengo.