disgust with civilization

The past stays put in its place. I read comic books.

My name is Achilles Glass, it has always been, but when she says it it turns out no one has ever said it this way before, the right way, perfectly. So, my name is Achilles and I have a glass of vodka on one hand and no desire for alcohol on the other. I take a zip, then the whole thing. I am in dire need of an escape. This Muriel Thorpe girl is driving me insane.
-Oh Achilles Glass, I could fall in love with you.
She says and I blush. I say: I have to go somewhere. She looks puzzled but I don't think I can afford to care. I am scared out of my mind. I walk through the place. Muriel stays put, chatting with this awful writer her father introduced to her a while ago. I know because she tells me everything. I know because I care. Damn it all. I know because I'm jealous.
I look around.
Frederick Foster-Wells is on the other side of the room being his charming self. He smiles at me and I smile back. My relationship with Foster-Wells is a very uncomplicated one. We see each other, we have sex, he throws words at me like bullets, disguised as flowers, and I take them silently. A witty remark here and there but I don't really care. I can be the brooding cliché all I want around him. He likes it.
When I am in a room this big, with as much unknown people as there are here, I tend to get restless, I tend to drink too much and say a whole lot more than I should so I decide to go to the library, stay there for a while, read a bit, you know? Get the fuck out of here.
Frederick follows me, of course.
-Oh, Achilles, I could fall in love with you.
He says and then kisses me lightly on the neck.
-Achilles Glass, you sure smell nice
He is all compliments this Fred. He has his glasses on and a beard that has been there for about five or six months, trimmed here and there, of course. His father is a very powerful man.
-I'd thank you not to force me to have sex with you tonight, Freddy Dear.
He looks punched in the stomach. He looks at me intriguingly and faces me directly.
-I thought you were the one pushing, darling
Of course I am. I'm all about it these days. I like him, this Freddy Dear. I like the way he lets me be and still likes me just as much as when I'm doing what I'm told. I like it that he doesn't force me to shave. 'Shaving is for me like sex is for my father and his wife. Once every five months' he says. He understands me. Maybe that's a little too much. He lets me.
Of course he doesn't truly understand me, who could? I am a man of many mysteries. I fancy myself an impossible yet irresistible maze.
Frederick kisses me. He always does. I'm not crazy about kisses but I let him do it. As long as I am the one in control, of course.
I'm not gay. I'm not straight. I'm not in love. I couldn't fall in love, of that I'm sure.
I have this incredible disgust with civilization. Oh the humanity... and Fred is a part of it. A very important and noble one. I like playing this part he has given me. I feel comfortable but I know I'm acting.
Freddy dear holds me closer and closer. He kisses me like there is no tomorrow and he lets me do to him whatever I want, like there are no eyes on these walls around us.

The past stays put in its place. I have amazing sex.